We interrupt this program for an urgent news brief.
Chimpanzees have been recently discovered to have joined the Penguin Revolution. Chimps, in their cunning ability to woo humans with tricks then steal objects from them have been stockpiling weapons for years. A stash of these weapons was found in Sweden. A spokes-penguin for the Front for Liberation of the Internal Penguin Population, FLIPPR for short, was quoted saying, "Penguins have no need to revolt against humans, and especially have no need of aid by the genetic ancestors of humans. All FLIPPR wants to promote is equality for those of us that are vertically challenged and are forced to be clothed in formal attire."
In response to this claim, a Swedish chimpanzee was quoted saying, "OO OO, EE EE." Experts have translated this to mean, "We were paid a profit to help the penguins in their revolution against the humans. We have no ill feelings or loyalties to either. The penguins merely offered more shiny objects as payment."
This is definitely a concern as the penguins have been known to deploy "cute and cuddly" operations world-wide. We do not know at this time which side of the story to believe so we are asking people to be cautious and avoid all things cute and/or cuddly, just to be safe. It also would help to store food, and keep small children indoors. We are asking that those with the knowledge of a FLIPPR safe-house to contact the local authorities with the information immediately.
We will now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
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